


(5+1) How Stiles Realized He Was Jealous and Maybe in Love With a Certain Sourwolf

by scarlettletterr



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (it's not explicit & there's like one line about it), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Stiles, Asexual Stiles Stilinski, Clubbing, College Student Stiles, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jealous Stiles, M/M, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Stiles, Older Stiles Stilinski, Pansexual Derek Hale, Pining Derek, Pining Stiles Stilinski, Sad Stiles Stilinski, The Jeep is still alive, The Jungle (Teen Wolf), The Queens, Virgin Stiles Stilinski, because of course they're here, pansexual Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:17:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8807587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettletterr/pseuds/scarlettletterr
Summary: Stiles is in love with Derek. He’s also a virgin, and ace, but Derek… Is not. Derek is hot, and has a very active sex life. Stiles knows that even if Derek would lower his standards enough to date him, he would never be able to give him what he wants.So he observes from afar, jealousy overwhelming him every time he sees him with someone else.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, tis I, your Secret Santa!  
> This fic goes out to the lovely @thisdiscontentedwinter!  
> Thank you so much @AriBash for editing this fic!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy it, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS to all!

1.

 

Stiles lets himself in inside Derek’s loft, using the key the alpha gave him a couple of years ago. It had taken a while for the pack to get to this point, where they could trust each other enough to have keys to each other’s places. Well, apart from Stiles, since the wolves decided that coming in through the window and scaring Stiles half to death was much more fun than using the front door.

There’s a pack meeting scheduled for later that day, and Stiles usually comes in earlier to get some snacks ready. Just because they have a better metabolism than humans, that doesn’t mean the wolves have to eat chips and popcorn every time. Green is the new black, and all that. Plus, Stiles just really likes to cook.

He opens the fridge, searching for the eggs he bought last time, when he hears footsteps behind him.

“Derek, do you know if you still have… Oh.”

The man standing next to the table is definitely not Derek. He’s also very half-naked. The button of his jeans is undone, shirt hanging from his hand. Stiles is pretty sure he could cut diamonds on the dude’s abs. His hair is wet, like he just stepped out of a shower. Which, he probably did.

“Ahem, sorry! I didn’t know Derek had company.”  
“No worries, mate!”

Stiles mentally cringes and swoons at the Australian accent. Damn. Could the guy get any hotter?

“I… should probably come back later. Didn’t mean to… intrude.”  
“You don’t have to Stiles. Josh was just gonna grab a cup of coffee.”  
“Yeah, I have to get to work pretty soon!”

Stiles tries really hard not to stare at Derek, because the alpha isn’t wearing a shirt either and, even though Josh’s abs look absolutely delicious, Derek’s belong in a museum, and it’s too early in the morning (*coughs*10 am*coughs*) to deal with this vision.

“Sure, yeah, I’m just gonna…living room… ‘kay.”

Stiles vaguely gestures at the door, fleeing the kitchen with his usual grace (not!). He hesitates for a second before plopping down on the couch, grabbing the book on the coffee table and opening it at random, eyes fixed on the page.

He stays like this for five (too) long minutes, until he hears a “Nice meeting you Stiles!” and the door closing behind Josh.  
Derek’s head pop through the door.

“You can stop pretending to read.”

Stiles’ pulls a face. He hopes Derek’s not mad.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to come off as rude…”  
“Don’t worry about it. Josh actually thought you were cute. He asked me for your number.”

Stiles chokes on his own spit, and Derek winks at him, before going back upstairs to take a shower. Stiles lets his head fall back against the couch, sighing. Feelings are dumb.

 

2\. 

 

The thing is, Stiles is in love with Derek. Has been for the past five years, actually. It’s gotten so bad that Scott actually whined and tried to smother Stiles with a pillow when the human started talking about it two months ago. 

He stopped. Mostly. Sometimes, when he’s had too much to drink and he finds himself alone in the company of Lydia, he allows himself to vent.

“They were having sex on the couch Lydia. The couch! Where we sit!”  
“Yeah well, I’m pretty sure Boyd and Erica did too. Jackson and I definitely did. Full moon and all…”

She giggles. Stiles loves the sound, he really does. But he doesn’t need to hear about that. He wrinkles his nose. His friends sex life is the last thing he wants to hear about.

“Yeah well, I was traumatized.”  
“You know your ears turn red when you’re jealous?”  
“I’m not jealous. Not really? I think?”  
“Just because you don’t want to climb him like a tree doesn’t mean you can’t be jealous.”  
“But it’s not like Derek is dating them.”  
“But you want to be dating Derek.”  
“Yes. I mean… Yes. I wanna date Derek. I want to take him to restaurants and buy him flowers and snuggle on the couch and make out with him and fall asleep with him and… just not…”  
“Not sex.”  
“No. I mean… I don’t mind the sex. It’s just… it’s gross.”

Lydia doesn’t say anything, just nods. Stiles doesn’t often talk about it: him being asexual. It took a while for him to get to this conclusion. He’d been in love with her for so long, and then Derek came along and he found out about bisexuality. Definitely bisexual. And then one evening, one just like this one, Lydia asked him about his fantasies, when he was still dreaming about her at night.

“I don’t… I don’t know. I guess… Just… Dates. Kissing. Making out. Touching your boobs. Holding your hand. Stuff like that.”

She had pushed, wanting to know the kinky, the dirty! Except that…

“I… Don’t know. I don’t think so? It pretty much stopped at making out.”  
“And with Derek? What do you fantasize about?”  
“I… pretty much the same?”  
“Really?”  
“I don’t know, why?!”  
“You never think about him holding you up against a door and fucking you?”

Stiles had looked at her, mouth wide open and a shocked frown on his face.

“I… no!”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yes! I mean, no, I mean, yes seriously and no I didn’t think about it!”

Lydia had just hummed. But two days later, she was in his room, looking up everything they could find about asexuality. It took a weight off of Stiles’ chest. _There was nothing wrong with him._

“Stiles?”

The human turns his head toward the strawberry blond goddess.

“I’m sorry, what?”  
“I said: you’re jealous of their intimacy with Derek. Not of the sex per say, but what it represents.”  
“I…”

But there’s no denying it.

“Do you think you should tell Derek about it?”  
“No! Absolutely not.”

Stiles’ answer is firm. He even flails a little for good measure, to indicate how much of a bad idea this is. There’s no way he can talk to Derek about this.

“I don’t want to… to _ruin_ whatever’s between us. Y’a know… Like… we’re good. We’re at a point in our lives where we… are… friends? I guess? Yes. Friends. And… the pack’s good. We’re good. Everything’s good. And I don’t want… feelings… to ruin it. You know what I mean?”

Lydia sighs, audibly, and nods. They stay like this for a while, in a comfortable silence. It’s nice to have someone that understands.

“Plus he’s way too hot for me.”

He doesn’t see Lydia rolling her eyes, but he definitely feels the punch she gives his arm. Ouch.

 

3.

 

It’s Isaac’s birthday and the whole pack is out dancing at the Jungle. Well, Jackson is dancing with Isaac and Erica while Lydia is sitting talking to Boyd. Allison and Scott are slow dancing somewhere, uncaring that the music doesn’t exactly fit their ‘’awkward-prom-dance routine’’. Stiles is talking with the Queens, and Derek…well whatever Derek is doing on the dance floor can’t be called dancing. It’s more… grinding. Humping. _Frottage._ Sex with clothes on. And Stiles tries really hard to avoid looking in the alpha’s direction but he just… can’t. The way Derek rolls his hips is mesmerizing.

One of the drag queen - Cherry - clears her throat and he turns quickly, cheeks burning.

“Well you certainly have good taste, Bambi.”  
“That’s not… It’s not… he’s…”  
“The gorgeous yet grumpy guy you’ve been talking about for months? The one you’re obviously crazy about?”  
“…”  
“You’re pretty obvious, darling. Why don’t you go out there, dance with him?, asks Lady Bunny.”  
“I… I can’t. He’s… I’m not his type.”  
“Darling, you’re _everybody’s type._ ”

Stiles snorts at that.

“Yeah… right. Even if I was… I’m not… I can’t… I don’t want to… Ya know.”  
“Dancing doesn’t have to mean sex you know, baby boy!”

Stiles shrugs, averting his gaze. The beer he’s drinking is warm against his lips. Gross. Donald Trump’s orange face gross-level. Even though he knows the Queens are right - they usually _always_ are - it’s not like he can work up the nerves to ask Derek if he’d like to dance with him.  
Also, it’s not because Stiles knows that dancing doesn’t have end up in the sheets, everybody knew that. He’d learned that the hard way. Pun intended.

“Stiles!”

The brunette turns towards the voice - Derek’s, his mind supplies - to find the werewolf smiling at him, his partner in <>frottage from before in tow.

“I’m gonna go. You’ll be able to catch a ride from someone? I know you didn’t bring your Jeep?”  
“Yeah… yeah sure. No problem dude. Have… fun?”

Derek winks, fucking winks at him, and leaves before Stiles can start banging his head against the walls. He feels a hand on his head, patting his hair awkwardly - Cherry probably - and smiles.

“So, anyway. I think I’m going to get another beer.”

 

4.

 

He’s parking his car in front of Derek’s building on a Friday night, because everyone else is having a date-night, and Derek doesn’t date, so the werewolf’s place is the only safe place for Stiles to be. He’s just getting out of his car when he notices a bright red sports car parked in front of the building. No one lives in the building apart from Derek and, sure thing, Derek’s black Camaro is also parked there.

Stiles frowns, looking up, and sees Derek through the loft’s window, smiling at someone.

Stiles stares for a second and slides back into his car, turning on the engine and driving away as quickly as possible.  
He can feel his stomach twisting. He didn’t know jealousy tasted this bitter. Lydia was going to have a field day with this information. She’ll probably say: ’’I told you so’’. Twice.

 

5.

 

Sometimes, Stiles catches Derek looking at him, a frown on his face. He knows his sourwolf isn’t stupid, and that he noticed the way Stiles doesn’t come to the loft as often as he used to. He surely noticed the way Stiles doesn’t talk as much as he used to, at least not to Derek. He’s probably even aware that Stiles never sits next to him at pack meetings anymore, and that he tries to engage with Derek as little as possible.

He never said anything though.  
Not until today.

Stiles is just trying to grab a nice, cold beer at the local pub with a couple of college friends, but when he enters the bar, all he can see is Derek, sipping a beer and flirting with a pretty brunette. And he just… can’t. Not tonight.

He turns back, slams the door open, and leaves. He pretends not to hear the way Derek is calling him, trying to get to his Jeep before Derek can reach him. But humans don’t outrun werewolves, that’s the way the world goes, and Derek’s fingers wrap around Stiles’ wrist before he’s even five feet away from his car.

“Stiles! Wait.”

Stiles is breathing through his nose, trying not to show he’s shaking.

“I… Stiles. Can you please… can you turn around? Can you look at me?”  
“…”  
“Please?”  
“… No.”

His voice is barely over a whisper, but Derek hears it anyway and it’s enough to make him step back.

“Did I… What’s going on Stiles? You don’t… you don’t come by the loft anymore. You don’t sit with me, you don’t talk to me anymore. Did I… did I do something wrong?”

And Stiles can’t take it, the way Derek’s voice breaks at the end, he can’t let him think that _he_ did something wrong when it’s all Stiles’ fault. He turns around, bracing himself. But before he can open his mouth and… try… to say something, the door swings open behind them, and the brunette from before exit the bar.

“Derek? What’s going on?”

Stiles can’t help but look at them, and Derek notices. Of course he would. He sees the way Stiles’ shoulders tense, hears the way his heart skips a beat, how he looks… sad. Disappointed. Derek takes another step back.

“I see.”  
“I… Derek…”  
“Save it.”  
“You don’t…”  
“I don’t get it? Of course I do. Fuck, Stiles. Out of everyone in the pack, I never thought that _you_ …”

The way he says it is like a punch in the stomach, and Stiles closes his eyes, breath catching in his throat. Stiles knew he never stood a chance, of course he did, but he never thought Derek would look so…angry about it.

“I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t care.”  
“Derek I…”  
“No. I… I should go.”

Stiles wants to reach out, grab his hand, beg him to forgive him, tell him that it doesn’t have to change anything between them, that he’ll keep his feelings in check, he won’t let them affect their friendship because it matters too much to him. He wants to say he’s sorry for ruining everything, but he can’t. He watches Derek disappear into the bar, then keeps looking at the door until a car honks next to him. He dries his cheeks and gets into the Jeep.

 

+1 

 

It’s been close to a week since The Argument. Stiles… gets by. He still flinches every time he hears the name “Derek”, and the rest of the pack has learned not to say anything when he’s near. At first, he thought that Erica was going to bite his head off with the way she kept glaring at him all through the first two days, until Lydia dragged her out of the room and she returned five minutes later, looking terrible. She’d hugged Stiles then, and gave him her favorite cookie. He didn’t really understood what had happened, but he gladly accepted the peace offering.

It’s Friday, and Stiles is driving home from the store with five new bags of Cheetos, Redbull and ice cream. He’s tired, dreaming about his bed and his comfy plaid blanket (the one Derek bought last Christmas. He tries not to think about it when he wraps it around himself and wallows in misery). He completely misses the Black Camaro parked down the street of his apartment.

He climbs the stairs one at a time - further proof of his exhaustion - and stops when he gets to his floor. Derek is waiting in front of his door, sitting on the floor.

Stiles’ hands tighten around his bags. Derek gets up when he sees him. He looks… Well, as terrible as Stiles, to be honest. Maybe worst, because Derek doesn't ever _not_ look good. But he’s paler, there are shadows under his eyes, and the way he holds himself is just… it breaks Stiles’ heart. That he did that.

“Stiles…”

Derek’s voice is rough. Stiles flinches.

“Stiles I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I…”

Derek takes a step forward, and Stiles tenses. He can’t help it. Derek stops immediately.

“I’m sorry. I… I want to explain why…”  
“You don’t have to.”

Stiles is surprised by the way his voice doesn’t crack nor break. Truly.

“But I…”  
“I’m the one who should be apologizing, Derek. I… I let my feelings get the better of me, and I made you feel like this was your fault, when you didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t your fault, okay? I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m… I’m sorry that I got my feelings all over you like that. I swear I… I won’t. I… You matter too much to me, Derek. I’ll keep them quiet, I’ll do my best to move on, I swear. I just… I just don’t want to lose what we have because I’m in love with you.”

It feels… good, to say it out loud. To say it to Derek, finally. 

“In love?”

Derek looks… gutted. But his face is so open, so vulnerable that Stiles stops for a second. Because there’s something that dangerously looks like hope in the wolf’s eyes.

“I… yes, Derek. I’m in love with you. Have been for a while, really.”

When Derek doesn’t say anything, Stiles deflates. For a second he thought- But of course not.

“Look I-”  
“I misunderstood you.”

Stiles stops, eyes wide open.

“What?”  
“I misunderstood you. That night. Last- last week. I didn’t- I thought you were… judging me.”  
“Why the hell would I judge you, Derek?”  
“Because I have sex?”  
“So what? Scott has sex, Lydia has sex, with _Jackson_!”  
“But it’s not… it’s not the same.”  
“Well I mean sex is never the same because there’s different positions and from what Lydia has told me she’s pretty-”  
“No, I mean- It’s not the same. They’re… dating.”  
“So what? You have sex with different people, what’s the problem with that?”  
“Because it’s a lot?”

And that’s where it finally clicks in Stiles mind.

“You thought I was avoiding you because of your sex life? No, wait…you thought that I thought of you as a _slut_?”

When Derek doesn’t say anything, Stiles knows he figured it out.

“ Well maybe I should call you dumbwolf.”

There’s the hint of a smile on Derek’s lips, and it’s enough to get Stiles going.

“I was… I don’t care that you’re having sex, Derek. Sex is a healthy thing, there’s tons of people who like it, and I would never judge someone based on the number of people they get freaky with on a regular basis. I can’t believe you thought that I-”  
“I know! I know, but… You looked-”  
“That’s because I was jealous.”

When Derek raises his eyebrows at him, Stiles tries to move his hand in a “whatever big guy” gesture, tangling himself in the handles of the bags he forgot he was carrying. He put them down.

“I told you. I’ve been in love with you for years.”  
“Why… Why didn’t you say anything?”

Stiles lets out a shaky breath. _Well, that’s the 1000 dollars questions, isn’t it_?

“Because… well because even if you could lower your standards enough to agree to a date with me, I knew I couldn’t… give you what you wanted.”  
“You mean…”  
“Yes, Derek, I mean sex. It’s not like it’s a secret that I’m ace. I don’t hate sex, it’s fine or whatever but… I don’t… It’s not something I particularly enjoy. It’s fine once in a while but I can’t do… more than that. And you hook up with a lot of people. You have sex _often_. And I’m not… I’m not good at sharing.”

When Stiles’ ex boyfriend had suggested that he could hook up with other people, Stiles had agreed, only to quickly understand that this wasn’t an agreement he could manage. So he just… stopped dating all together.

“Well, guess you’re the idiot now.”  
“Uh?”

Soft lips pressed against his, and Stiles suddenly felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He was too shocked to respond to the kiss, and whined when he felt Derek’s lips leave his.

“I said, you’re the idiot now.”  
“I…wha… you…”  
“I love you, Stiles. I like sex, sure, but I love you. I don’t care if it means having sex once a month or once a year or never again. I want to date you. Buy you curly fries at that diner you like so much, make out at the movie theater, hold your hand in the street, celebrate Christmas, make you breakfast in the morning, cuddle you all night. I want to be _with you_. That’s all I need, Stiles.”

Derek was smiling widely, apparently taking great pride in the fact that Stiles was - for once - completely silent and unable to respond. He could have passed for smug if the tip of his ears hadn’t turned pink.

“I love you.”

Stiles smiles, a soft smile that quickly turned into a wicked grin.

“I kn-”

Derek cuts him off with a kiss, feeling Stiles’ laugh against his lips. Well, if that was the price to pay…


End file.
